By show of hands, who thinks the impetus for this article has more to do with the author’s NFL fandom than an actual grasp of the Constitution, legal system, and/or logic?

New York Giants star receiver Plaxico Burress is facing a mandatory 3½ years in prison and the end of his football career. His crime? Not having a license, which New York City never would have issued him, for the exercise of his constitutional right to bear arms.

To be sure, Mr. Burress got caught because of what appears to have been stupid and irresponsible behavior connected with the handgun. But he does not face prison for shooting himself. His impending mandatory sentence highlights the unfairness and unconstitutionality of New York City’s draconian gun laws.

Feel a tiny tear trickle down your cheek at the thought of a football player – traditionally the most over-priveleged group in modern society – losing his “career” due to his inability to grasp the fact that laws apply to EVERYONE, not just the “little people.”  

More quotes from this piece the WSJ is very careful to place under the OPINION section are surely in order…

It appears that he put the unholstered gun in the waistband of his sweatpants, and when it slipped, he grabbed for it, accidentally hitting the trigger. To make matters worse, according to press accounts, he was seen drinking and may have been consuming alcohol — which all firearms safety training (including the class he would have been required to take for his Florida permit) absolutely forbids for people handling guns. And of course Mr. Burress’s handgun should have been holstered to prevent unintentional movement of the trigger. Fortunately, his negligent discharge did not harm anyone else.

Anyone who has ever concealed carried is right now saying, “Jesus Fucking Christ On A Monkey!” at the image of someone carring a gun WITHOUT a holster, in the waistband of SWEATPANTS.  I mean, godDAMN, even Glocks are fairly heavy, and not wearing a belt to keep the pants up, and secure the holster, officially means you’re too fucking stupid to carry the thing, licensed or not.

Mr. Burress’s behavior was bad. However, Mr. Burress is not facing prosecution for carelessness, but simply for carrying a weapon. This is unjust and perhaps unconstitutional. 

Oh joy, another half-asser who fancies himself a Constitutional Scholar.  The basis for this idiotic comment is D.C. v. Heller, which as you all know, overturned D.C.’s fuckstupid handgun ban, thereby disappointing many nascent fascists.  However, the “logic” applied is, well, nonexistent:

The Heller decision did not say that requiring a license to carry a gun was unconstitutional. But in New York State, nonresidents cannot even apply for the licenses to possess or carry a handgun. Unlike most other states, New York refuses to honor carry permits issued by sister states. Most observers believe that the Supreme Court will eventually make state and local governments obey the Second Amendment. If it does, New York’s discrimination against nonresidents will probably be ruled unconstitutional.

Bloody hell.  You know, I am absolutely in favor of every law-abiding citizen having the means to protect themselves, and I’m super excited about it being done by a sexy piece of hardware capable of throwing a projectile in excess of 800 feet per second, but things still work exactly like they used to – if you don’t like a law, GET IT CHANGED, either by voting out the clownshoes wot proposed it, or petitioning the like-minded to call for a popular vote to overturn it.  You can’t just stomp your widdle foot and say, “not fair!” and expect things to Harry Potter themselves around to just the way you like them.  

Yes, NY’s lack of reciprocation for the properly-licensed sucks, but you can’t just IGNORE it and expect to walk, regardless of how many touchdowns you score.   You ain’t special, son.

*Yes, that was indeed a Dallas Cowboy slam, kthx.

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