Man, it’s a Sunday, I should be lazing about watching the kids play with their Xmas Wii, but instead I gotta write about these angsty bitches at Starbuck’s, who think the baristas need unionizing.
Yeah, I just used “baristas” and “unionizing” in the very same sentence. I’ll have to check but that could very well be one of the signs of the Apocalypse.
First, you emo fuckers, if your job title is in ANOTHER LANGUAGE, then the odds of your workplace being A) dangerous, or B) exploitative, are very nearly zero.
Second, if your bosses were actually working your soft, pink fingers to the bone, you’d really only have to step down the street to the offices of WPUTZ, Channel 42 (Cleveland’s #1 News Station!!) and tell your heartrending little story – complete with video of your threadbare green t-shirt, your sweaty brow, and that callus on your little finger – to publicize their inhumane treatment, and immediately convene Congressional hearings on your behalf.
Third, just how dangerous is it being a barista? Well, since I was one during my college days, let’s recap:
- Slippery floors? Nope, non-skid mats are required in tiled areas, checked once a month by health inspector.
- Sharp, pointy things? Pretty much just the knife used to slice the bagels. Oh, and that second shift bitch’s tongue. WHY won’t she sleep with meeee???
- Dangerous levels of heat/radiation/toxic waste? Well, the espresso machine is pretty gnarly at the end of the day, but even a three year old would understand, “don’t touch the hot part, ok honey?”
So, no…no reason whatsoever for prissy little fucks who assemble over-priced caffeine beverages in air-conditioned comfort to form a fucking UNION. What we have here is a handful of delusional pricks who just can’t believe their great-grandpas/-mas, got all the fun of being social activists, despite the fact that they were actually DYING in their workplaces, not merely suffering from debilitating steam burns on their widdle pitters.
Hell, it’s easier than doing something REALLY meaningful. Like finishing college and getting a real job.
The idiots that I work with are trying to unionize as well. Weather forecasting is about as dangerous as, well, sitting in an office chair, unless you SUCK at it. (If you SUCK at it you’re risking a beatdown by an angry customer/pilot/supervisor
) You see, the guys I work with believe that joining a union is the only way to get a pay raise…did I mention that they’re idiots? The first thing that our company did when one of our other sites went union was to fire 10% of the employees to cover the increased cost of dealing with the union. Buh-bye.
But they still all look at me like I’m speaking Klingon when I implore them not to bring in a union. They’ll figure it out soon enough, I guess.
D.W.
January 4th, 2009
@D.W.:
Where I come from that’s called “extortion.”
Liberty Girl
January 4th, 2009
Wow. Some people need help. And this is coming from someone who is TRYING to move, but her husband (and strong man) had to work 18 hours straight yesterday. On a holiday weekend. And he’s “exempt” (IMHO illegally, but silicon valley is a great little illegal sweatshop) so we don’t see an extra red cent. Instead, I’m gonna have to shell out a few hundred dollars just to get the old place moved out of in half the time now.
But you know what? He’ll just tell his boss and that guys boss this sucks and if it happens again, he quits. He needs no union to hold his hand…
silvermine
January 4th, 2009
@LG: My point exactly. Great minds DO think alike.
@ silvermine: I’m looking for employment elsewhere myself. I’ve already told my coworkers where they can shove their union. I told them that I don’t need a pimp. I’m a big boy and would rather make my own way in the world, thank you very much.
Unfortunately, Kentucky is not a right-to-work state, so changing jobs is my only option at this point.
D.W.
January 4th, 2009
The only folks who really deserve a Union org would be the admin assistants around the world.
Except for the children making shoes in Latin America and China, no other group is more overworked, over responsibility-laden, and underpaid.
Joan of Argghh!
January 4th, 2009
Once upon a time, the unions really did serve a purpose. These days they only serve to increase the cost of goods and services while helping to bankrupt major industries, like the auto industry.
@Joan:
I agree about the admin assts, though. I support several at my company and they really do run things. There’s not a single exec that could survive a day without their help.
folly
January 4th, 2009
Starbucks is the place where the only prerequisite for getting full benefits is the ability to walk through the door and put on an apron without fucking anything up, right? The hearts of Chinese coal miners must be bleeding for these poor souls.
Stephen Kruiser
January 4th, 2009
(YAWN)
Starbuck’s lost any hope for my business a few years back. (As if I’d pay through the nose for a cuppa joe when i could buy a POUND at the local Kroger’s for what they charge for a single cup, and make my own.)
Seems that one of the troops in some Mid-East shithole asked if they’d send some coffee over in a care package, or something, and they refused, saying that they didn’t want to be perceived as ‘supporting this illegal war’ or some such shit.
I’d rather drink MRE coffee, thanx. fuckers.
B Smith
January 5th, 2009
Joan … more thana union, those children making shoes in Latin America and SE Asia need to keep those jobs so they can eat when others are starving. What’s a sweat shop to us is a paying job to them. Of course, the politically correct think it’s much better for them to just starve or barter their bodies for food …
Unions are for the incompetant and lazy … and the coming loss of secret ballots means the Mafia is back … big time … and any non-right-to-work state is HOSED!
Personally, I like Walmart’s ethic … every store in Quebec, where the unions have tried to get a foot in, has been shut down … or the department that was trying to uniuonize has been shut down … the olatest being a tire & lube shop. Go WalMart!!
pete in Midland
January 6th, 2009