You’re being had, people.
Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt and “Girls Gone Wild” chief Joe Francis announced Wednesday that they have sent a joint request to Congress asking for a $5 billion federal bailout to help the adult entertainment industry weather difficult financial times.
The duo contends that while the industry is still viable, the sagging economy has had an impact.
“People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt said. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”
According to Flynt and Francis, adult DVD sales and rentals have decreased by 22 percent in the past year, and viewers are increasingly turning to the Internet for adult entertainment.
Francis said the money for the $13 billion industry would be “just to see us through hard times.”
If you’re not, if this is actually not a massive poke in the eye from Flynt – who is smart enough for it, make no mistake…that fucker Francis is just along for the ride – then I sincerely hope it causes an apoplexy in a key number of senior Senators and Representatives grave enough to effect their immediate retirement.
And WTF is MY bailout?? The well’s going to run dry eventually, you pricks.
Hustler needs to extort money because America cannot do without sex !?!?!?!?!?
I seem to have done OK without Hustler. But, you may need to ask my seven children to be sure. Well, not really ask,
you know what I mean.
Jeff Stone
January 7th, 2009
“sagging economy”, “hard times”?
Umm … gag?
nukemhill
January 7th, 2009
Heh… he said “hard times”…
Yes, I am 12.
jana
January 7th, 2009
They still publish Hustler?? Whodathunkit…
I thought porn was pretty much free these days, anyway? It seems like as long as you have internet access, there ya go, if you’re into that sort of thing.
@jana: LOL, me too…
D.W.
January 7th, 2009
@DW
That’s just the problem. Just like with newspapers, paper porn rags are facing lower circulation rates. You can get your news online, and your porn, too. These poor guys may have to sell on of their houses, or a boat or something. Wouldn’t want that.
I’m waiting for the government to bail out the newspapers, too. I think that what we need is a national, government controlled press. [cough] couldn’t do it with a straight face. Sorry.
Oh yeah, I had a joke about sticky keyboards, but I just couldn’t do it.
folly
January 7th, 2009
Never have I been fucked this hard, this often, and felt this badly. (But then, I’ve never been to prison.)
Actually, I’ve just never been fucked this hard NOR this often, but I’m working on it
B Smith
January 7th, 2009
I think it’s reassuring to see that the auto Unions, banks, and cushy public pension funds can finally see themselves in the same light as Hustler. Just like we see them.
Apt. Sweet…
Joan of Argghh!
January 8th, 2009
@jana: We all are.
@Joan of Argghh!: EXACTLY!
Liberty Girl
January 8th, 2009