Oh MAH gad. How can anyone ever THINK of having something as déclassé as a CHICKEN right in their very BACK YARD??
Dear Pseudo-Elitist Fucktard:
(I call you a “pseudo” elitist because if you were truly elitist you wouldn’t be blogging for a living, eh?) You pathetic, whingy infants make me ill, with your dirt-shall-never-touch-this-manicure sensibilities. Just how do you suppose you reached your current ivory tower-esque height, little man….by springing forth from the forehead of a convenient deity? No, your foregoers tilled the land, husbandried the animals, GREW THEIR OWN FUCKING FOOD.
And they did it all, somehow, without being sneering, contemptuous asstards. I’m sure they’re looking down on you from Valhalla right now, wondering why your parents failed to raise you with anything resembling respect for those who work so hard to provide everything you snap up weekly at your local Whole Foods. Think all that just falls out of a gigantic horn of plenty, do you?
Having chickens in the yard does not automatically mean “poor,” nor does it mean “survivalist nutbar.” I would have chickens in a heartbeat if our lot size was large enough to meet the local livestock codes, because fresh eggs ROCK, you nard. And – I know this is going to be a difficult concept for you to grasp – things you’ve grown yourself (seeds you’ve started, plants you’ve tended, fruits you’ve harvested, livestock you’ve nurtured) JUST TASTE BETTER. It is partly because the results are “fresh off the vine,” and partly the intense satisfaction of having bygod done it yourself.
But I can see how the latter would be a completely alien concept for you, seeing as how it requires getting all DIRTY and stuff.
Signed With Hooting Derision,
Liberty Girl
Next time some filthy hippie is talking about how the food on their table was grown ‘only’ 25 miles away, point out that yours was grown 25 feet away.
CG
April 20th, 2009
Want to see even more elitism? Read the comments here.
Robb Allen
April 20th, 2009
@Robb Allen:
It seems the site staff has been busy removing the more offensive of the comments. Still plenty of “you go girls” and “got any sisters?” in there. Gods, I miss Tennessee.
Liberty Girl
April 20th, 2009
@CG:
Damn skippy!
Liberty Girl
April 20th, 2009
On the other side of the coin:
My suburban-imprisoned husband and I were planting apple trees, blueberries, & blackberries on his mom’s country property this weekend. (In the rain, I might add. Dirty AND wet. Heh.) But we’re not the only ones planting for the future… Several passerby stopped (everyone knows everyone there) and mentioned how they were doing the same. Twenty and thirty somethings replanting what their parents tore out because they were “too busy”. One guy put in ten cherry trees this weekend alone. Another one, peaches. Some relatives are talking about getting chickens & using their grandma’s old coop. Made my right-wing-extremist, survivalist, country-hick heart sing.
The way I look at it, if the world goes to hell in a handbasket I’ll have something to eat besides ficus leaves. And if it doesn’t, that will be great and I’ll still have awesome fresh blueberry pie to boot.
Jess
April 20th, 2009
@Jess:
Fantastic. What I wouldn’t give for a bit more land.
Liberty Girl
April 20th, 2009
This certainly explains why the gummint is working hot ‘n heavy on new laws that would seem to regulate such endeavors.
Do a search for “H.R.875″ and “S. 425 food”
One is “Food Safety and Tracking Improvement Act”, the other is “Food Safety Modernization Act of 2009″.
From the Summary of H.R.875:
“Transfers to the Administration all functions of specified federal agencies that relate to the administration or enforcement of food safety laws. Renames the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) the Federal Drug and Device Administration.”
In the bill:
“(14) FOOD PRODUCTION FACILITY- The term ‘food production facility’ means any farm, ranch, orchard, vineyard, aquaculture facility, or confined animal-feeding operation.”
“(a) In General- Any food establishment or foreign food establishment engaged in manufacturing, processing, packing, or holding food for consumption in the United States shall register annually with the Administrator.”
Some are arguing that this won’t affect the chickens in your yard. That may well be true, but I’d really like to see it in writing.
ZZMike
April 20th, 2009
“It’s also terrifying in the sense that we are becoming Cuba”
Wait… I thought the libtards LOVE Cuba?! Don’t they all fight over the chance to go down there and blow Castro?
jana
April 20th, 2009
Jana,
They love talking about the ‘downtrodden’ ‘plight’ of the working class man as they jet into Reagan National for the annointed one’s rise to messianic proportions. My paternal grandmother raised chickens so her family didn’t starve to death. No wonder my dad hated fowl. Would somebody please tell the Air Force how to remotely pilot Nancy Peeloser’s plane and conveniently arranged a bird strike or two into the engines. Maybe an albatross or something. Wishful thinking. (sigh)
top of the chain
April 20th, 2009
Yeah… where’s a flock of geese (or two) when you need ‘em?
jana
April 21st, 2009
Funny thing is, the crunchy-granola type here in the People’s Republic of Minneapolis have been the primary demographic growing their own food in recent years.
I think the eco-hipsters are just upset that “the squares” are joining their grow-your-own movement, thereby robbing it of any eco-hipster cred.
Squid
April 21st, 2009
I heart you, LG.
truthsayer
April 23rd, 2009
@truthsayer: I know.
Liberty Girl
April 23rd, 2009
@ZZMike: As a beginning beekeeper I’ve been reading a lot of beekeeping forums and there’s some buzz (sorry!) about this affecting backyard hives too. I don’t plan on registering my chickens or my beehive any time soon, the government best just stay away.
lucy
May 5th, 2009