Now, I’m sick, so this is going to hurt.  

Them, not me.

Our new fuckstupid benevolent overlords are going to be sending out emails demanding entreating their subjects constituency to tithe donate to the eradication of the massive debt from Hillsy’s failed campaign for the Overlordship Presidency.  

Too bleh to blockquote.  Read for your ownselves.

52s – you pack of limp-brained, sausage-fingered, South American-laboratory-test-subjects – does it seem at all logical that YOU should foot the bill for this circus, this Hippodrome of Fail?  Or is asking the lot of you to deploy such an advanced trait as logic a wee bit too much after everything Dr. Mengele put you through?  

Sorry, I know I’m not supposed to say the “M” word. 

Do you just not get that the Empty Suit and his cronies see you all as nothing more than their personal financial institution?  Free withdrawals, any time, NO WAITING!!  You’re a walking dollar factory, nothing else, and everything they tell you/do for you is designed to keep the greenbacks flowing Eastward.  Gullible doesn’t even begin to describe those of you who fall for this bullshit.

Well, should *I* receive such an email, after I’d finished laughing, I’d collect all the snotty tissues that are piling up on my desk like some evil, gelatinous Kilimanjaro, pop them in an envelope and send them right along.  That should clear things right up.

Go get ‘em, boys.  And girls.

The IDF is drawing up options for a strike on Iranian nuclear facilities that do not include coordination with the United States, The Jerusalem Post has learned.

While its preference is to coordinate with the US, defense officials have said Israel is preparing a wide range of options for such an operation.

I don’t think anyone forgets that Israel is perfectly capable of dealing with their uppity neighbors.

Does it make any of the rest of you nervous that the people titularly in charge of the rest of us are fucking loons?

Tough auto emissions standards backed by Gov. Charlie Crist cleared a hurdle when a Florida commission gave its approval to rules fiercely opposed by car industry lobbyists but praised by environmentalists as a way to fight global warming.

The Environmental Regulation Commission voted 6-1 on Tuesday to adopt California’s emissions rules as a way of lowering greenhouse gases, which many scientists blame for global warming. It would force auto makers to sell more fuel-efficient cars in Florida, which they say will drive up prices and limit availability.

First off, I’m in the Global Warming Is BULLSHIT camp.  Let’s just get that right out there in the open.  It’s a scam, elevated to a rend-your-clothes, ashes-poured-over-your-head, goat-sacrificing Religion by special interest groups.  Oh, and this fat fuck.  

Mister Liberty Girl had to endure this sham when he was still in the Navy and living in Virginia.  Garages have to pay exorbitant fees to the state to qualify as an inspection station, and then seem to think this licenses them to “upsell” anyone who walks through the door.  “Well, your emissions are fine, but your tires are looking a little worn there, Ms. Gullible.” 

Yeah, this is going to work out just great.

…and I think it’s just about time we had one!

Opponents of a proposal that would allow city officials to enter homes and businesses they they don’t think are up to snuff are expected to descend on the City Council tonight.

–

For council members, the proposal is necessary to bring Kenneth City’s appearance up to snuff. They and their supporters say the town has deteriorated in recent years and it’s getting worse every day. They blame homes abandoned from foreclosure, lazy property owners and renters who fail to maintain their homes. The result: falling property values in this city of 4,400 people.

The ordinance would set minimum standards for all property owners. But what has property owners ticked off is the provision allowing city officials to enter any home or business to inspect the interior. And they can seek a court order to force an owner to comply.

Kenneth City is a tiny little enclave – sure as fuck does not rate the label of “city” – out on the St. Pete penninsula here in Florida.  It is a widely acknowledged truth – or at least a firmly held preconception – that everyone on that benighted swath of land is utterly bugfuck crazy.

A plan by the sodding City Council to INVADE PEOPLE’S HOMES?!??!!  What the entire fuck do they think the’re doing?  Who the entire fuck do they think they are???  This is not a clever plan to increase property values, this is some tinpot tiny-dicked tyrant’s way of attempting a power grab…and the fact that it’s in KENNETH CITY, FLORIDA illustrates exactly the mind-numbing stupidity of this pseudo-person.  

I am very glad to see reports that the council meetings have been packed with opponents since the announcement of this fly-covered horseshit.  Don’t back down, you fucking idiots, or I’ll have to come over there with my cheese grater.

In response to Trooper’s Gal’s Dream Cabinet…

Click for bigger, of course.

UPDATE:  Ask and ye shall receive.  

TG, if people start buying we’ll split it 50-50.

There’s just no brain-mouth filter on these people:

The Capitol Visitors Center, which opened this morning, may have tripled its original budget and fallen years behind schedule, but Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid found a silver lining for members of Congress: tourists won’t offend them with their B.O. anymore.

“My staff tells me not to say this, but I’m going to say it anyway,” said Reid in his remarks. “In the summer because of the heat and high humidity, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol. It may be descriptive but it’s true.”

You should probably listen to your staff, dolt.  Then again, it seems you [D]s can say pretty much whatever you want and your constituency is just hunky dory with it.  

Personally, when I get insulted by someone who is socially beneath me – as would be every member of Congress, yes – I tend to bitterly cling even harder to my guns and religion (though probably not the one they’d expect) and sit outside with my ponytail flipped over my shoulder to ensure the uniform redness of my neck.

I would say you Dems had better learn some judicious self-censoring but your supporters have already indicated they’re just fine being the bottom to your top, are happy to receive any and all abuse it pleases you to hand out.  Just remind them to wear long sleeves when they leave the house, and that you only do it because you love them.

The title of this fair post is what one of my state Senators has just told me regarding the issue of The Messiah’s reluctance to whip out a birth certificate and prove his citizenship.  Here is his response, with bonus interjected commentary by moi (emphasis all mine):

Dear Liberty Girl:

Thank you for contacting me regarding President-Elect Obama’s citizenship. I appreciate hearing from you and would like to respond to your concerns.

Like you, I believe that our federal government has the responsibility to make certain that the Constitution of the United States is not compromised. We must fight to uphold our Constitution through our courts and political processes. 

Article II of the Constitution provides that “no Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President.” The Constitution, however, does not specify how that qualification for office is to be enforced.  As you may know, a voter recently raised this issue before a federal court in Pennsylvania. On October 24, 2008, the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania released an order in the case of Berg v.Obama.In that case, the plaintiff, Phillip Berg, raised the same issue that your letter raises regarding proof of the President-Elect’s birthplace. Through his lawsuit, Mr. Berg sought to compel President-Elect Obama to produce a certified copy of his birth certificate. 

The District Court dismissed Mr. Berg’s suit and held that the question of Obama’s citizenship is not a matter for a court to decide. The court further noted that voters, not courts, should decide whether a particular presidential candidate is qualified to hold office.

Can any of you get your mind around that logic?  This is a Senator here, telling me that the courts do not have the authority to enforce the Constitution.  If he really, REALLY wants to go down that road then we surely can.  I hereby declare Marbury v. Madison a load of bunk, and every decision handed down for the past 200+ years is automatically made null and fucking void.   Further, Congress is to be immediately dissolved, and charged with perjury, grand larceny and any other fucking thing we can think up.  Every judge is disbarred, disrobed and to line up in the town square in an orderly fashion for tarring and feathering.  Oh yes, thank ex-Senator Martinez for your discomfort, fellas, he’s the one who made you all superfluous with his brilliant Constitutional scholarship.

Can I just tell you how much froth is emanating from Mister Liberty Girl’s jaws just now.

Presidential candidates are vetted by voters at least twice – first in the primary elections and again in the general election. President-Elect Obama won the Democratic Party’s nomination after one of the most fiercely contested presidential primaries in American history. And, he has now been duly elected by the majority of voters in the United States. Throughout both the primary and general election, concerns about Mr. Obama’s birthplace were raised. The voters have made clear their view that Mr. Obama meets the qualifications to hold the office of President.

If you’re referring here, Senator, to the 52s – those unwashed seal-huggers – then you’re seriously deluded if you believe they are capable of vetting their way out of a wet paper bag.  No voter vetted the Empty Suit.  They heard his pretty pretty words, saw he had more than the typical amount of melanin, and leaped for the Historical Significance Train with both feet.  

After he is sworn into office, Mr. Obama will be our nation’s President and I intend to bestow upon him the honor and respect due any man who holds that Office.

As my 23 regular readers know, I sure as hell don’t.  They would first need to EARN that respect, and this clownshoes hasn’t done a bloody thing other than consort with would-be terrorists and attach himself firmly to the government teat.

Yet, I am certain that there will be times when I will disagree and oppose President Obama’s policies. When that happens, you can be assured that I will pursue vigorously what I believe to be in the best interest of Florida and the nation. 

Like this time, RIGHT FUCKING HERE, you mean?  Oh, huzzah.  I will sleep so very soundly tonight knowing that.

I thank you for sharing your views with me and will keep your concerns in mind. If you have additional questions or comments, please contact me. For more information about issues and activities important to Florida, please sign up for my weekly newsletter at http://martinez.senate.gov.

Sincerely,

Mel Martinez

United States Senator

We’ll just see about that last bit come 2010, Mister Man, oh yes we will.

UPDATE:  Mister Liberty Girl just pinged me from work, Senator Martinez will NOT be seeking a second term in office.  

What. A. Fucking. Shock. 

All you sad sonsabitches who donated to the motherfucker need to be askin’ for a refund right about now.

Don’t you just love when some media wanker takes poll data, slaughters a goat or two, and divines from the steaming entrails the intent of the American people?

The GOP intra-party debate over Palin has become a proxy for the larger question of her party’s future, and conservative chieftains like Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission President Richard Land fear that attacks on Palin are at times veiled swipes at the party base.

“It would be a mistake to say that social conservatives have all their hopes and dreams vested in Sarah Palin,” Land said, but he added Palin “does have the one thing you can’t coach, charisma,” and continues to have “star power” with conservatives.

She has less, though, among moderates even in her own party. Among moderate and liberal Republicans, Palin dropped about 20 points, falling behind Romney as the group’s preferred 2012 nominee.

Um, ew.

I, Liberty Girl, am about as center-right as you can get…without actually being forced to vote for Ron Paul.  I would call myself a Libertarian but the party itself is chock-full of whackjobs, and that’s just a challenge I don’t need, so I go with the little “l” designation instead.  Small government, nay, EENSY government!  As Mister Liberty Girl says, “I want the government to keep the streets in repair, pick up my garbage, and punish bad guys.  THAT’S IT.”  And I completely agree with him.  Let’s get government out of the business of subsidising the poor and nannying us all to death, shall we?  

That said, Palin is the most palatable option on the table for 2012, DESPITE her religious proclivities.  And honestly, who is the last politician to get something changed due to their god-y-ness?  John Ashcroft and the Large Bronze Boobies of DOOOOM??  Now you know they let him get away with that just to keep the old coot happy.  Like that song…that fuckin’ song…

Palin is not going to take office and immediately reverse Roe v. Wade, regardless of the wet dreams of the evangelical Right.  Politicians may have their pet causes and apparent raison d’êtres but when it comes down to it, most of them are just interested in staying ELECTED, which means pleasing the majority of the constituency.  That will also, of course, apply to Palin.  And that’s one reason – despite the vitriol on this site to the contrary – that The Messiah does not particularly keep me up at night.  

I speak harshly of the 52s, those forebrain-stunted thumb donors, but the natural optimist in me (HA!) believes most of them are not completely divorced from reality, they just got a little excited to be Part of History^TM in the election of a sort-of black man.   We conservatives will resist the garden-variety socialist tendencies and should anything epically stupid come down the pike, well, I hope the 52s will have absorbed some fucking common sense from us naysayers by that time.

UPDATE: A reader emails:

Dear Ms. Girl  (Or may I call you “Liberty?”)You mention “center-right without voting for Paul.”  That prompts a thought on how we describe the political universe.

Authors often use two axes, one for personal and the second for economic liberty.  So for example Singapore is high economic but perhaps lower personal freedom. (I attach an example without comment on the specific placements.)

Seems there  needs to be a third axis, something like “common sense / theoretical” to describe the overlay of differences among populist, formal economists, blue-collar Democrats etc…

See, an issue like free-trade may have sound theory, and work in practice, but it also seems counter-intuitive to workers and goes against folk-wisdom thinking.  Likewise we see rifts between the “gotta do something” bailouts and “left-em fail” libertarians.  THIS debate is not about economic or personal liberty, so much as it is about our sources of knowledge, and how much we’ll trust “reason” over “experience.”

You can call me “Libby.”  (Never was a man, though.)  

Maybe the third axis should be “what’s important to you,” which can amount to the same thing you suggest, I suppose.  Despite my exhortation to not be a One-Issue Voter, I freely admit that national security is WAY up there on my priority list, which might make me rather more hawkish than the average libertarian.

Personally, I’m not going to worry much about defining charts and graphs until the ID cards/tattoos are mandated.  Then I’m going to SHOOT something.

Aww, does Momma’s widdle man have some stwess?

I honestly don’t know what’s more disturbing…the fact that The Empty Suit is cracking under the pressure ALREADY, or that his baby mama (YES, I FUCKING SAID IT) is reputed to be “distraught.”

Gotdamn, it’s crazy up there with the big boys, ain’t it?

(Via Joan)

It is traditional, as I’m sure all you civic-minded folks know, for an outgoing President to pardon a number of the judicially-impaired before leaving office.  Dubya serves up yet another disappointment by completely ignoring incomprehensibly incarcerated Border Patrol agents Compean and Ramos. 

I formally apologize for that uncalled for alliteration.

These two guys, in the lawful discharge of their duty and mandate, shot a fucking drug dealer IN HIS ASS.  Now, even on the most svelte of men, that is not anything close to a mortal wound.  And let’s use our fucking common sense here…who WOULDN’T want to shoot a drug dealer in their ass?  Me, I’d prefer the main body mass, but I’m fucking practical that way.  Kill the fuckers, no more drug dealing.  Pretty fucking simple, I think.

So, George W. Bush, while you’re pardoning old cronies and the otherwise high-profile, kindly get your head out of your own ass for a moment and give these two guys their lives back.