Maybe you’d like your pee-pees held while you go winkie, too?

No, no, no, no, NO.

The Florida Senate has passed a measure that toughens the state’s seat belt law.

The Senate voted 33-4 Tuesday to pass the Dori Slosberg and Katie Marchetti Safety Belt Law named in the memory of two young women killed in accidents while not wearing seat belts.

It has been my contention since I was a teenager (ergo possessing of a barely-functional forebrain) that the government has zero say in a person’s method of self-destruction, and in 20+ years of driving (and a few car accidents, some my fault and some not), that stance hasn’t changed one bit.  If people are not capable of connecting the lack of a seatbelt to near-certain death in an automobile accident, then no one, least of all the sodding GOVERNMENT, has a say in that.  

At the risk of dispelling the fuzzy-bunny illusions of some, we are not doing our species any favors by working so very hard to preserve those incapable of preserving themselves.  

But we have higher brain functions!  We’re not animals!  Every human life is PRECIOUSSSSS!!!!

Yeah?  And how’s that working out for us, eh?

If I may quote from one of the best/worst movies of all time:

Fuck you, Jobu….I do eet myself.*

Thanks to the increasingly intrusive and stepping-outside-their-constitutional-limits government, MLG is now rolling his own:

I’ll let him pop in later with the details.

*You have to wonder if Haysbert looks back at this and wants to kill himself.

Come April 1, the fed govt is going to start taxing us smokers like never before, with an additional $1.01 per pack. The old fed tax was 39 cents.  That is almost tripled.  The object of this higher tax:  to pay for the new  SCHIP program that covers “children” up to, what,  age thirty-something for health care insurance.

In the next breath, the fed says that new tax will make adults stop smoking and prevent kids from starting.

So which is it?

Does Uncle Sugar want to pay for the healthcare of people who should be getting jobs and paying for insurance themselves, or does Uncle Sugar want smokers to quit? And if smokers quit, what will the fed govt turn to to make up  for the lost revenues to pay for the damn program that shouldn’t be there in the first place?

Hey, just asking.

So, here’s what I’m going to do.  Since I refuse to pay a voluntary tax for a program that is completely communist in nature, I will quit on April 1, 2009.  I LOOOOVVE to smoke.  I quit both times when LG was busy making babies, and I stopped for a pack on the way to the delivery.  I quit for a year two years ago until I finally figured out it was the diabetes, not the smoking, that was making me sick.  I even quit smoking during boot camp, “A” School, and my first deployment.  But I wanted to smoke every single gottammed day during those times.  I know I can tough it out, but it ain’t gonna easy.  Nicotine is a pain reliever, and I deal with pain every day.  But getting anally violated everytime I buy a pack is painful too.  So, no thanks.

I have been thinking about this whole “Tea Party” thing in conjuction with the new cig tax.  Wouldn’t it have more impact, wouldn’t the “Tea” in “Tea Party” make more sense, if we actually, you know, threw something in the harbor?

Just asking.

I have to say up front here, that I couldn’t give a good goddamn about the Catholic church – or ANY church for that matter – for reasons into which we will not delve today.  However.  This is unconstitutional and wrong, and oh did I mention UNCONSTITUTIONAL??

The [Democrat]-controlled Judiciary Committee has introduced Raised Bill 1098, a bill aimed specifically at the Catholic Church, which would remove the authority of the bishop and pastor over individual parishes and put a board of laymen in their place. 

The complete bill is here

So many people utterly fail to comprehend the true meaning of “separation of church and state” (too busy worrying about the use of the word “God” in school functions) that I guess the fucking [D]s just thought they could slide this one in on them, no one the wiser, allegedly to help those who believe they have no recourse in a parish misuse of funds…except they already do under secular law, just like everyone else.  So, those of you in the area, get out and do what needs doing to slap these uppity bitches back in their places.  THEY work for YOU, goddammit, and they are Fucking Up by the numbers.

Sweartagad, this increasing tendency among these Empty Suit-worshipping fucktards to dismiss the Constitution of our beautiful country is Pissing Me Off.  But that’s a natural reaction to knowitall pussies who think they know a better way than people who bled their guts out to gain independence for the Colonies.  
I suppose that’s what scares them the most, this crazy notion of “independence” – after all, everything they do, every program at which they throw millions of tax dollars, is designed to quash independence, to prevent the proles from standing on their own two feet, having anything resembling self-respect, and therefore an opinon about how things should be run.  To the grifters currently running things, that’s all dangerous and stuff.  

Too fucking bad, I say.  They NEED to be scared, they NEED to know we can “fire” them any time we please.  THEY work for US, not the other fucking way around.

(Via Hot Air)

You know, I really don’t have time for this foolishness:

If you think the biggest problem with a camera phone is the poor quality of the photos, a member of Congress might make you think again. Earlier this month, Rep. Pete King (R-N.Y.) introduced a bill in the House of Representatives that would ban camera phones from having a silent mode when taking a picture.

The Camera Phone Predator Alert Act (H.R. 414) would “require any mobile phone containing a digital camera to sound a tone whenever a photograph is taken.” What’s more, the bill would prohibit such handsets from being equipped with a means of disabling or silencing the tone. Enforcement would be through the Consumer Product Safety Commission.

The text of the bill is short, and King’s office has not released any public statements. Yet, the reasoning behind the legislation is clear. The text states that “Congress finds that children and adolescents have been exploited by photographs taken in dressing rooms and public places with the use of a camera phone.”

Hey, here’s a thought:  instead of punishing those who have done nothing wrong, how about we take all the child abusers, trace their own abuse backwards, and permanently sterilize absolutely everyone involved, thereby eradicating the fucked-up genes responsible for this madness in the first place.  

Then, of course, make the punishment for actually abusing a child a .45 to the back of the head.

There, problem solved.

This is the kind of thing you just love to read on a lazy Sunday afternoon: young adults – the future of our country, thank you – exhibiting all the backbone and neural complexity of laboratory-grade protoplasm.

Campus police at East Carolina University said they made one arrest and used pepper spray on some students as officers tried to control a huge snowball fight on campus.

Pepper spray??   To break up a SNOWBALL FIGHT???

Well it was a Really Mean snowball fight:

“It all started in good nature, but then people were throwing them as hard as they could at each other. They were everywhere,” said junior Brandon Davis, noting he got hit in the head.

He said a girl was knocked to the ground after being hit in the face with a snowball thrown from 10 feet away, while another student cried after getting hit in the eye.

Now, living as I do in Florida, it has indeed been some time since I’ve been involved in a snowball fight, but unless you’re packing snow around a big fucking rock, hitting someone with a snowball generally results in nothing more than a bit of a sting.  Certainly not tear-worthy.  Unless you’re five.

So the students are pussies, and the cops…the cops are pussies, too.

Police said an officer used pepper spray on a group of students that rushed officers trying to make an arrest. Authorities estimate between 200 and 250 people were involved, but no serious injuries were reported.

Pepper spray, on a bunch of squishy student types?  I mean, come ON.  Sidestep, elbow to the solar plexus, DOWN. 

Matt Lunchick, a junior, said he saw an officer tackle and arrest a student after the officer was hit with a snowball in the back.

SIGH.  This is the sort of blown-out-of-porportion bullshit that causes our retarded Congresscritters to feel they have to draft legislation to Pruhteck the Peeples.  We can’t have them causing each other owies, now can we?

We’re going to need a bigger cheese grater.

Sometimes I really, really, REALLY wish we lived in Britain:

Don’t throw away leftovers, warn ‘food police’

Householders are to be visited by officials offering advice on cooking with leftovers, in a Government initiative to reduce the amount of food that gets thrown away.

Home cooks will also be told what size portions to prepare, taught to understand “best before” dates and urged to make more use of their freezers.

The door-to-door campaign, which starts tomorrow, will be funded by the Waste and Resources Action Programme (WRAP), a Government agency charged with reducing household waste.

Oh, the sheer number of cockpunches that could be delivered in such a circumstance!  It makes one almost dizzy with anticipation!  Imagine, if you will…

*bing bong*

Hello, I’m from the Committee for Getting in All Up in Your Business, and I’m here to…

*COCKPUNCH*

That there is just full of WIN.