Yes, I’m having a “I hate the fucking news” week again, GTFOI.  Plus, I can’t breade out of by dose.  Which just makes me grumpier.

So I’m out in the garden, making things grow.  Pictures here.

Well, I’d dearly love to post something profound here regarding those bleating ninnies who claim today’s Tea Parties are A) staged, B) useless, and/or C) to be ignored, but I’m too busy fucking FUMING about the technological failure that is my desktop computer.  

It has, in a word, lunched itself.  The combination of errors reported indicate a memory failure, no doubt precipitated by the fucking plastic bag I found stuck up against the side of the tower, so I’ve got 4GB of memory inbound from Crucial, and we’ll be trying a superdisk repair later on, because Dell – those hamfisted fucktards – do not include recovery disks with their systems.  

If all this funtime fails I’ll have to do a complete wipe/reinstall of Windows, which totallysucks since I’ll have to buy an all new copy of the fucking o/s, which we can ill afford at this juncture.  Even better, my Photoshop CS2 copy is two releases behind current, it just never being a convenient time to shell out $200 for the upgrade, so I might have to buy that bitch all over again, as well.

I’m just sayin’, I know times suck, but I might be begging for some donations before this horseshit is through.

Stay safe at the Tea Parties, y’all, and remember: don’t punch a bitch unless you’re sure there are no cameras on you.

I’m sure none of my 342 regular readers is at all surprised to hear this:

Nevertheless, about that “surprise visit”.

It wasn’t. The visit was communicated a full 24 hours in advance and a small contingent of soldiers – not screaming hoards – were rustled into a meeting place at Camp Victory.

Got this email from a sergeant that was there.

“We were pre-screened, asked by officials “Who voted for Obama?”, and then those who raised their hands were shuffled to the front of the receiving line. They even handed out digital cameras and asked them to hold them up.”

Take a look at the picture at AP and notice all the cameras are the same models? Coincidence? I think not.

I’m SHOCKED, I tell you.  *yawn*

(Via Transterrestrial Musings)

Hey cockbiters…put me on your list, mmkay?  Right there at the top.  Because I am not just Anti-Obama, I am also Anti-Fucktard, and you fellas are all fucktarded up.

(Via AoS)

Those who know me can tell you I am the Very Last One to subscribe to a conspiracy theory, in fact am much more likely to sneer, throw a bottle at your head, and/or possibly call in an air strike on your position should you admit to being quite so gullible.

However.  

All these gun-related incidents this year seem designed to stir up irrational fears in the sheeple out there, so as to perhaps make it easier for those fucking thieves in D.C. to move ahead with registration and/or an outright ban.  

It’s enough to make a girl get out the metal file, I tell you.

O British Press, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways…

Dear Elitist Pricks (that’s YOU!):

Thanks so much for continuing to confirm that when you say, “We all have to sacrifice,” what you really mean is, “YOU all have to sacrifice.  Me, I’m having custom fucking pizza, bitches.”  

Look, I realize you fucking amateurs are totally new to this game, so here’s a free hint:  If you’re going to indulge in conspicuous consumption then maybe you’d better shut the entire fuck up about everyone else’s.

As MLG says, “You want skin in the game?  You can have the skin of my fucking nutsack.”

Love,
People Who Hate You More and More Each Day

Ok, a child died, and that’s a total tragedy.  But asking the Internet at large to donate cash to pay for the memorial service/reception??  Anyone else find this completely tacky, or just this cynical bitch?

What the entire fuck happened to, “We don’t negotiate with terrorists”??  

The American ship captain being held hostage by pirates on a lifeboat off Somalia tried to escape from his captors by jumping overboard, a U.S. official said today. Richard Phillips was recaptured and is thought to be unharmed, the official said. Phillips was believed to be trying to swim to the USS Bainbridge, a naval warship sent to the scene after Phillips’ cargo ship was attacked by the pirates on Wednesday.

The man had to try and rescue his ownself for fuck’s sake!

I’m so glad we have a complete pussy in office, aren’t you?

Joanie reminds me of the perils of neighborhood living, and the delicious gossip my barely-tolerated next door neighbor sidled over to dispense the other day.  It seems the Garage People have become somewhat reduced in number, thanks to two of the pack getting the old heave ho from the Alpha Female (read: mortgage holder).  

Sir Saggy-Pants (who has increasingly fucking irritated me with his very presence, not to mention his utterly unwarranted swagger, propensity for going about half-clothed, and general antagonism towards neighborhood children) and the Father Figure (who had a nerve-wracking habit of belting out the latest country hit whilst standing shirtless in his driveway, clutching a beer in one hand and idly scratching his increasingly deer jerky-like hide with the other) have been tossed the fuck out, most likely due to their complete lack of material contribution to the Cause over there.  Well, other than that SWEET bench seat stolen from the interior of some hapless van, I’m sure.  

Nosy Neighbor has it that the boy is all of 15 years old, never attended school (to this I can personally vouch, working from home as I do), and was known to amble about the neighborhood with a brewsky of his own screwed into his pubescent fist.  I do wish I had known the child was less than the age of independence, I would have delighted in turning his truant ass in.  Ah well, too late now.  And the reward is no more bad country, no more saggy underpants, and no more duck eggs thrown at my vehicle and neighboring houses.  The Muscovy population around here may recover yet.