*No prurient comments, pls, they make that vein in MLG’s forehead start pulsing.

Also, utterly screwed up and decided to make the cake myself after noting the price of a half sheet cake from the local grocery purveyor was half a C-note.  Oh, and featured exactly NO Pokemon decorations, which is Liberty Daughter’s current obsession.  The screwup came about not because I suck at cooking (I most emphatically do NOT), but because the grue still has me, and this morning decided to become The Grue instead.  With big stompy feet in my head, cadres of grue-lets in my sinus cavities with blowtorches and feathers, and I sweartagad, the sandworms of Dune in my eyeballs.  

So, this is likely the last post for today, as there’s buttercream icing to make, Pokemon figures to draw then recreated in icing, and various other things to be dusted and swept.  Think of me kindly, people, tomorrow about 1PM EST, as I open the door to ravenous, rampaging heathens, and their children.  And think even kinder of me about 4PM EST, as I root for my beloved Crimson Tide against those sleazebag, pee-pee touchers, the Florida Gators.  We weren’t expecting a title shot this soon after hiring a new coach, but we’ll fuckin’ take it, and woe be to those foolish enough to combine the colors of blue and orange and get between us and it.

Roll Fuckin’ Tide

I am glad you contacted me.  Kid struggles with his handwriting.  Do you have a handwriting book that he could do at home to help him?  We do not teach handwriting in middle school.

Why yes, I DO have a handwriting book at home.  I make it practice to purchase every single learning aid my child might ever need just in case one of his teachers emails and says, “we don’t teach that in middle school.”   And really, why should I expect you to teach that, you have FCAT tests to teach to, don’t you?  And Title 1 requirements to meet!  You know, important shit.

Last year I taught Kid math because he was not being taught math at school.  You know what…I already have a fucking full-time job.  It is hard enough to get him to actually bring home his homework, and we have no accountability because his assignments are never recorded anywhere for us to review.  We all get it that these kids have more responsibility this year, but a little support from the school, in whatever capacity, would be appreciated. 

Yesterday I spoke to a guidance counselor at the school regarding Kid not getting his homework assignments home.  “Take away his priveleges” and “email the teacher”  was all the advice she had.  Now I certainly don’t expect the school to PARENT my kid while he’s there but acting as authority figures is kind of your fucking raison d’etre, isn’t it?

I tell you all…the public school system went to HELL when paddling was outlawed.