I know it’s early to be writing to you this year, but I just thought I’d get my list to you nice and early so you’d know that I really, really, really want these things, and they’re not just idle whims – like that saxophone-playing guy, REALLY sorry about that one. No, this list is the real deal, the whole enchilada, and I promise, if I get even just one of the presents on this list I will be the bestest girl forever and ever!
- A very, very, VERY public meltdown, including screaming, cursing, and maybe even frothing at the mouth.
- These two, in a boxing ring. Bikinis not even required.
- This thing, put into low-Earth orbit, where it can no longer frighten children and small animals.
And just for you Santa – instead of cookies and milk, because I know you’re watching your figure – I’d give you these pussies. How about we get our golf clubs and show ‘em what a REAL visit from Santa is like?
Thanks, Santa. Love to the reindeer!
LG
