A Sheboygan woman has been cited for animal neglect after leaving her overweight dog outdoors in single-digit temperatures, where it froze to a sidewalk but survived.

Shelter workers say 120-pound Jiffy was left in frigid weather last week but the “morbidly obese” border collie was protected by layers of insulating fat.

What in the name of little baby ducks are you doing letting your poor goggie get that far over weight?  Let me guess…the dog’s your eating partner, and every time you have a nibble it makes you feel better about your shitty life if Jiffy – conveniently named for your third favorite snack – has a nibble, too.  

Has it never occurred to you that dragging Jiffy’s fat ass around the block would also benefit your own fat ass?  That your goggie would be much happier if she could actually, maybe, walk on her own?  

Ok, ok, maybe you’re disabled and you can’t walk the goggie.  Here’s a novel idea:  FEED HER LESS. 

I swear it’s like I have to do everything for you.

Extra special bonus pic of Liberty Dog himself, aka. Best Dog Ever:

Don’t ask me what he is – some Lab, some Basset Hound, maybe even some Chow with that tongue.  Great disposition, equally willing to play or curl up in your lap.  At 70lbs, he doesn’t care that he’s rather too large and pointy for that last activity, he’s totally 100% there anyway.