Mister Liberty Girl has a habit I envy, of telling assholes precisely when they’re being assholes.  I would love to join in this practice – I think everyone would be more polite if they were publicly called out for rudeness – but alas my natural inclination to politeness, as yet, cannot be overcome.  (Person-to-person, anyway.)  

Case in point:  Today MLG stopped at a convenience store for smokes (yes, he smokes, STFU), and found himself in line behind a gentleman of color who was purchasing a regrettably stereotyped oversized bottle of beer.  The gentleman was a bit put out by the increased cost of his ’40′ and was berating the gentleman of Indian extraction behind the counter:

“Why you go raising the prices??  I’m a hard workin’ man, I work for a livin’.  I’m goin’ to my job right now and I need my 40!”

The gentleman then turned around to MLG, querying as to his cognizance/approbation of said situation:

“These people come to our country, they take our jobs, and then they raise the prices!”

MLG couldn’t help but notice the chosen headgear of said gentleman, namely one “44 Obama” chapeau.  He tried desperately to circumvent the instinctive, nay DESERVED, response, but alas, out it came:

“Looks like he’s working pretty hard to me.  But you know with Obama’s economic policy the prices on everything are going to go up.”

The gentleman, apparently uninterested in debating economic theory while his ’40′ sweated it’s crispy cold goodness away on the counter, said:

“You gonna lend me a dollar so I can buy my ’40′ and get outta here?”

MLG whipped open his wallet, passed the gentleman a dollar:

“Absolutely.  Might as well start getting used to it.”

I do love that man of mine.

Dear Detroit:

Why won’t you die??

With hate,

LG

You know, I just don’t trust anything from these motherfuckers that includes the word “Omnibus.”

In the Omnibus Public Land Management Act of 2009, which passed the Senate (S. 22) in January and is up for a vote in the House as early as this Wednesday, a “forfeiture” provision would let the government confiscate “all vehicles and equipment of any person” who disturbs a rock or a bone from federal land that meets the bill’s broad definition of “paleontological resource.” The seizures could take place even before a person and even if the person didn’t know they were taking or digging up a “paleontological resource.” And the bill specifically allows the “transfer of seized resources” to “federal or non-federal” institutions, giving the government and some private actors great incentive to egg on the takings.

Hey kids, guess which party’s Senator sponsored this vague bullshit?  

Democrat, you say?  

On the nosey!

So, I just gotta ask…at what point can we make it illegal to be a fucking Democrat?

*An oxyfuckingmoron if there ever were one.

Some morning indigestion for you via Twitter:

It seems a pair of judges in Pennsylvania have been sending kids to juvie in return for kickbacks from the detention center operators.

The setting is Pennsylvania coal country, but it’s a story right out of Dickens’ grim 19th-century landscape: Two of Luzerne County’s most senior judges on Monday were accused of sending children to jail in return for kickbacks.The judges, Luzerne County President Judge Mark A. Ciavarella Jr., 58, and his predecessor, Senior Judge Michael T. Conahan, 56, will serve seven years in jail under a plea agreement.

They’re alleged to have pocketed $2.6 million in payments from juvenile detention center operators.

Everyone involved with this should be executed, and have their heads placed on pikes outside the courthouse.  You know, as a fucking REMINDER.

And if I have to tell you what they’re being reminded of, expect a visit from me and my Cheese Grater.

Jesus Christ on a Three-Legged Ice-Skating Mule.

GMAC, the automobile financing company, said Tuesday morning that it would immediately resume financing to a wider range of car buyers, a day after the Treasury Department injected billions of dollars into the lender.

As Stephen says, this is the very fucking thing that got you all in this mess to begin with, so why don’t you do us all a favor, pull your heads out of your asses, and run your business like an actual goddamned business for a change, instead of some fucking government-subsidised rent-a-wreck.

But we neeeeeed to boost sales!

Ok, and when those high-risk customers default on their loans AGAIN?

Who cares?  The government will be there with another handout, whee!

Out. Of. The. Boat.

If this does not turn out to be an exceptionally lame prank, the folks at BK need to have their frickin’ heads examined:

In another example of advertising prowess, Burger King Holdings launched a new men’s body spray with a strong scent of “seduction” and a hint of “flame-broiled meat.”

Doesn’t that just make you horny nauseous?  ’Where’s the Beef?’ was a rhetorical question, you nards.

Imagine, if you will, the largest television in the world.   This thing is huge, I’m telling you, bigger than the biggest movie theater screen, bigger than any outdoor drive-in screen.  It’s so large it has to be supported by dozens of telephone poles (the cast concrete ones, not the plain old wood), and you have to stand back several football field-lengths just to see the entire screen.

Are you imagining it?  Good.

Now imaging this enormous television turned on, volume cranked up to the max, and not tuned to any station.

There, that’s the very same sound this article makes.  

That’s the sound of Global Warmening^TM, people.  The sound of a worldwide con.

Mister Liberty Girl pinged in from work to ask what in the fiery depths of Abaddon did pay raises for federal judges have to to with the socialization of our nation’s auto industry bullshit bailout plan?  So I looked it up.

If the $14 billion bailout plan for U.S. automakers passes, it will help more than just Ford, Chrysler and General Motors. Federal judges would get a pay raise, as well.

Do note the phrasing there.  ”HELPING” is what they’re doing up there. 

Odd, feels an awful lot like ass-raping.

Oh, but it’s all necessary and shit!

Under ethics legislation enacted almost two decades ago, members of Congress get a cost of living raise automatically, but they have to vote to give judges an identical raise. Because the spending bill covering U.S. courts has not passed, the step is necessary if judges are going to get their COLA.

Except that it’s not:

If the pay measure fails to go through this year, judges are likely to get the increase as one of the first pieces of business next year.

So, my pretties…Harry Fuck-You-In-The-Ass Reid, who “insisted” this go into the package, did so for which of the following reasons?

[poll id=3]

We’re being emotionally manipulated, people.  AGAIN.  If the [R]s succeed in killing this fuckstupid bailout (prayintagad), they will be (figuratively) dragged behind the Media Pickup Truck.  AGAIN.  

I will remind you – AGAIN – that this is a capitalist society we live in.  If these companies can’t play then they need to be broken up and sold off for parts.  Just like their shitty products.

I just had a really disturbing thought (that’s #214 for the day, for those of you playing along at home)…  This NYT article makes some pretty strong statements implications about the mental stability of Illinois Thief-in-Chief Blagojevich, to wit:

Delusional, narcissistic, vengeful and profane, Mr. Blagojevich as portrayed by federal prosecutors shocked even his most ardent detractors.

And…

Mike Jacobs, a Democratic state senator and former friend of the governor, suggested that Mr. Blagojevich may have lost his grip on reality.

“I’m not sure he’s playing with a full deck anymore,” Mr. Jacobs said. “I think he brought a lot of this on himself. He’s so gifted, but so flawed in a number of fundamental areas. It’s like he dared the feds to come get him.”

And…

“The combination of arrogance and stupidity that would prompt him to continue in these types of behaviors is just stunning,” Dr. Redfield said. “There’s no feedback loop or reality check.”

Mr. Blagojevich had grown increasingly isolated in recent years, particularly from his own state’s Legislature and even from his father-in-law, Dick Mell, a powerful longtime Chicago alderman who showed him the political ropes as a younger man.

The governor was rarely seen around his offices in Chicago and Springfield, preferring instead to spend time at home on the North Side.

“I believe he became a prisoner of his own home,” Mr. Jacobs said.

We’re not trying to make the case that anything that comes out of this fool’s mouth is suspect because he’s mentally touched in the head, are we, fellas?  Because he might have some very interesting things to say about Obama’s past in Illinois, things Big Media^TM just hasn’t been interested in hearing.  

Until, maybe, like now.

Does it make any of the rest of you nervous that the people titularly in charge of the rest of us are fucking loons?

Tough auto emissions standards backed by Gov. Charlie Crist cleared a hurdle when a Florida commission gave its approval to rules fiercely opposed by car industry lobbyists but praised by environmentalists as a way to fight global warming.

The Environmental Regulation Commission voted 6-1 on Tuesday to adopt California’s emissions rules as a way of lowering greenhouse gases, which many scientists blame for global warming. It would force auto makers to sell more fuel-efficient cars in Florida, which they say will drive up prices and limit availability.

First off, I’m in the Global Warming Is BULLSHIT camp.  Let’s just get that right out there in the open.  It’s a scam, elevated to a rend-your-clothes, ashes-poured-over-your-head, goat-sacrificing Religion by special interest groups.  Oh, and this fat fuck.  

Mister Liberty Girl had to endure this sham when he was still in the Navy and living in Virginia.  Garages have to pay exorbitant fees to the state to qualify as an inspection station, and then seem to think this licenses them to “upsell” anyone who walks through the door.  “Well, your emissions are fine, but your tires are looking a little worn there, Ms. Gullible.” 

Yeah, this is going to work out just great.