About damn time:

Security analysts and the Somali government are publicly flirting with the idea of hiring mercenaries to stop the pirates that are terrorizing east Africa.  Now, the notorious guns-for-fire at Blackwater are responding to the call, with a resounding arrrr!!!!!

I suppose ex-Seals will do if you can’t afford actual Seals.

Oh, and Mister Liberty Girl, you MAY NOT send them a resume.  Well, unless they agree to never send you into the field.  Analyst work only, baby.

Exsqueeze me?  *hand to ear*  Baking powder?

US Marines have been singing about their exploits on the “shores of Tripoli” ever since President Thomas Jefferson sent them to scour out the world’s most dangerous pirates, the Barbary corsairs, from their bases in North Africa in 1801. Now President Barack Obama may have to give the Corps the chance to add a new line – by sending Marines to destroy the newest generation of pirates, this time on the other side of Africa.

Um, no.  Last time the situation was a bit different, try reading a goddamned book.  

Yes, the Fifth Fleet is in that area, but not necessarily to protect the shipping interests of foreign nationals who would just as soon indulge in a bit of pillaging their ownselves.  Isn’t high time you fuckers all took care of yourselves?  That way we won’t have to deal with any of your puerile carping about “imperialism.”  So, nut up, Third World – this means YOU, Saudi Arabia – either pay the pirate’s ransom or night-drop an elite squad in there to do a roach bombing.

What’s that?  You have no elite squads?  Well…how about you HIRE US for the job.  One Seal Team should run you about $1mil per hour, plus expenses.  Cash only, bitches.

Oh My GOD, what in the name of hell is going on here??

Ben Affleck is visiting refugee camps in war-torn eastern Congo, where at least 250,000 people have been displaced by recent fighting, and says more aid money is needed.

The actor has visited the Central African country four times since 2007 and also has made a documentary about its problems.

“I’m not an expert in international affairs or diplomacy, but it doesn’t take that to see the tremendous suffering here,” he told The Associated Press on Thursday in Goma, the regional capital. “It’s not something that we as human beings can, in good conscience, ignore.”

Bennie, Benzo, Bentard…  Son, I used to like you.  You and your heterosexual life partner Mattie made a gorgeous little movie, a shitpot of money, and all of a sudden you’re an expert on international affairs?  I don’t think so.

Yes, almost the entirety of Africa is one huge stinking cesspool of corruption and failure, and we have been pouring money into it by the C-130-full since the dawn of fucking time…kindly notice it hasn’t made one eensy bit of difference.  Hell, the pirates in Somalia are credited with rejuvenating that “country’s” “economy” with the ransom money they bring in.  And honestly, since they’re countrymen, they have a better chance of bootstrapping that shithole than do we over-privileged whities.

So, son, why don’t you recall the fact that you have a tiny child at home, another one on the way, and remove your amateur ass from the firing line.  You want to save Africa?  Well, Africa has to want to save itself first.

My regular readers – all four of them – may have noticed that I have a special reserve of scathing contempt for Socialists and other Nanny Staters.  What can I say, my parents did far too efficient a job of instilling in me a sense of what’s fair, and a very few deciding what’s good for a great many definitely comes down on the side of Not Fucking Fair.  

This is one huge reason I’m so very interested in tracking (and taking the piss out of) the words of the Empty Suit scheduled to take office in my beloved country next January.  It’s also the reason I have an “Internationalism” tag, since Britain is well on it’s way, and Venezuela is a fuckin’ Master Class in action.  

Ecstatic with your choice are you 52s?  So very giddy that some of you are meeting already to plan his national holiday.  You want to see what the future holds if The Messiah attains his stated goals?

In Carabobo, where a Chavez loyalist and former late-night talk show host risks losing the governorship, Chavez told party activists he might use the tanks to “defend the people.”

“If you let the oligarchy return to government then maybe I’ll end up sending the tanks of the armoured brigade out to defend the revolutionary government,” he said late on Saturday.

What’s the matter?  

That could never happen in America, Land of the Free and Home of the Brave?  

Why not?  Your Messiah has already stated he wishes to create a National Civilian Defense Force.  Just what do you think they’ll be used for?  Beating up on petty thieves?  Helping old ladies across the street?  

Please do us moron 48s a wee little favor – read some history (if I have to tell you WHICH history then there’s going to be no hope for you anyway) and puzzle it out for yourself instead of allowing your usual deranged assholes to lead you around by the sexual organs.

Ah Socialism!  How you benefit the proletariat with your reclaiming of the people’s natural resources!

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez’s government will take over and nationalize La Cristinas, the biggest gold mine in the country owned by Canada’s Crystallex, Mining Minister Rodolfo Sanz said Wednesday.The move is part of leftist Chavez’s socialist agenda that calls for nationalizing Venezuela’s natural resources. Over the past year, he has taken over the electricity, oil, steelmaking, cement and telephone enterprises.

Or…maybe not.

Venezuela plans to build mines at its largest gold deposits with Russian help, the mining minister said on Thursday, apparently killing a years-long bid by two Canadian companies to develop the projects.

 
But, but…Dear Leader, that doesn’t seem to benefit anyone but, er, you and the Russians!  Wait…what’s with the gun?  No!  I was just…   

BANG

Pertaining to my previous post…

Now, however, the refrain in Britain is that “now we can all love America again.” Britain is ecstatic that America has elected an apparently antiwar president in a time of war. Some might think this is a form of national suicide. But Britain recognizes Obama as one of its own. That is because Britain’s intelligentsia and political class is signed up to “transnational progressivism” which holds that the nation is the source of all the ills in the world because it is inherently racist. 

Obama believes America has to expiate its sins: both its original, Founding sins of slavery and racism, and its latter-day sins against the world of Islam. Britain likes the sound of that. It wants America to be humbled. Nations, it thinks, cause wars. Arrogant, hubristic, imperial nations like Bush’s America cause big and horrible wars. By contrast transnational institutions — such as the sacred UN or EU — promote civilised “engagement” with the enemy to discuss grievances and reach compromises. So it is thrilled that Obama will get out of Iraq and talk to Iran and may even force wretched Israel (which Britain blames for Everything Bad in the World) to give away the disputed territories and half of Jerusalem to the Arabs. 

The fact that such actions would leave Iraq in chaos, empower Iran still further, destroy Israel’s security and imperil the free world doesn’t trouble it at all. And if Obama, under the responsibility of office, should change from an appeaser to a war leader in America’s national interest, then Britain’s new found love for America would revert once again into rage and disdain.

Read, as they say, the entire thing.  And then the next time some Eurotrash (yes, Britain, I include you) congratulates us on electing The Messiah, punch them in their fucking face.

Across Twitter, various blogs, and the world at large, we, the American people, are being congratulated – nay, patted on the goddamned head – for electing an unqualified buffoon to the highest office in the land.

You’ll pardon me if I take that as the biggest load of condescending bullshit ever and politely request you blow it out your ass.  

You lot like to toss around the word “imperialist” when speaking of the U.S. but do you see us hoovering up countries and turning them into colonies?  Oh, yes…Iraq?  If they’re our colony, then why the fuck are they not sending in their weekly tithes of kine, light sweet crude, and virgins?  Same for Afghanistan…where’s our garnets and opium?

I really, really, really want to know what makes Eurotrash all wet in the panties about the election of the Empty Suit.  Similar ideologies, perhaps?  Or maybe the thought of the next 4 years of weak-assed foreign policy sets their vaginas on fire.  

Just remember, my pretties…for such a young country we have kicked a shitload of international ass, so don’t be getting any ideas.

Whatever the reason, I’ve reached Punching in the Mouth Stage over this superlicious shit.  It’s a pity that doesn’t work over TCP/IP.