I wonder if I remember how to do this snark thing…

The level of hysteria Sarah Palin is capable of generating still makes me LOL.  It just slays me that those who have their frilly pinks in a bunch over Palin writing speech notes on her hand are the same who don’t mind their dear leader’s seeming inability to memorize his own speeches.

The parallel that can be drawn between liberal and conservative spending habits is just a delicious bonus.

I see Palin Derangement Syndrome continues unabated:

A federal judge presiding over a case involving an autistic boy took a shot at former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin for bringing her Down syndrome child on stage after a debate last year.

U.S. District Judge Naomi Reice Buchwald made the remarks during a settlement conference with lawyers involved in a lawsuit against a luxury building in Manhattan. The parents of an 11-year-old boy are fighting a 25-pound limit on dogs, saying a big dog is medically necessary to help their son cope with Asperger’s syndrome.

“That kid was used as a prop,” the judge said. “And that to me as a parent blew my mind.”

Yes, it’s an opinion, and, like assholes, everyone has one.   Well, at least until that’s properly made illegal.

Honestly, Palin in 2012 might not be the best choice but I sure as fuck want her to try – and win – just for the sheer pleasure of watching so many fucking liberals’ heads explode. 

Yeah, that’s the ticket!

UPDATE:  I just have to ask…how many people would be as elated at the election of the first WOMAN President as they were at the election of the first black mulatto President, particularly if that WOMAN was Sarah Palin?

[poll id=4]

I know it’s early to be writing to you this year, but I just thought I’d get my list to you nice and early so you’d know that I really, really, really want these things, and they’re not just idle whims – like that saxophone-playing guy, REALLY sorry about that one.  No, this list is the real deal, the whole enchilada, and I promise, if I get even just one of the presents on this list I will be the bestest girl forever and ever!

1. A very, very, VERY public meltdown, including screaming, cursing, and maybe even frothing at the mouth.
2. These two, in a boxing ring.  Bikinis not even required.
3. This thing, put into low-Earth orbit, where it can no longer frighten children and small animals.

And just for you Santa – instead of cookies and milk, because I know you’re watching your figure – I’d give you these pussies.  How about we get our golf clubs and show ‘em what a REAL visit from Santa is like?

Thanks, Santa.  Love to the reindeer!

LG

Boy, that Palin Derangement Syndrome is a stone bitch, isn’t it?  

I mean, c’mon, setting a CHURCH on fire, with women and kids inside??  That’s some seriously bad karma there, son.   And for what?  It’s the church she USED to attend, does not currently attend.  I’m not sure what physics are like in your universe, but here, that’s not really going to accomplish what you think.  

By the way, dear arsonist, Mister Liberty Girl (who takes the protection of women/children quite seriously) would like a word with you.  *sells PPV tickets*

And you.  You clownshoed, wrinkly old meatsack.  The ONLY reason you got as near the Golden Ticket as you did is because someone SMARTER THAN YOU convinced you to take Palin on as VP candidate.  Most of us couldn’t stomach you until that point, were considering writing in FRED! (you broke my heart, man), or Lt. Dan, or our freaking DOG…ANYONE but you.  This would be a big old reason why here, man:

Speaking to ABC’s “This Week,” McCain was asked whether Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin could count on his support.

“I can’t say something like that. We’ve got some great other young governors. I think you’re going to see the governors assume a greater leadership role in our Republican Party,” he said.

He then mentioned governors Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota and Jon Huntsman of Utah.

Regardless of your opinion, you cock*, you could have been somewhat more fucking diplomatic about that response.  You may think your “corpse is still warm,” but it’s still a fucking corpse.  You have ZERO chance in 2012, my friend.  Just fuck back off to Arizona and continue the mummification process, kthx.  

*There’s our word for him, as promised.  Hi Mom!

Don’t you just love when some media wanker takes poll data, slaughters a goat or two, and divines from the steaming entrails the intent of the American people?

The GOP intra-party debate over Palin has become a proxy for the larger question of her party’s future, and conservative chieftains like Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission President Richard Land fear that attacks on Palin are at times veiled swipes at the party base.

“It would be a mistake to say that social conservatives have all their hopes and dreams vested in Sarah Palin,” Land said, but he added Palin “does have the one thing you can’t coach, charisma,” and continues to have “star power” with conservatives.

She has less, though, among moderates even in her own party. Among moderate and liberal Republicans, Palin dropped about 20 points, falling behind Romney as the group’s preferred 2012 nominee.

Um, ew.

I, Liberty Girl, am about as center-right as you can get…without actually being forced to vote for Ron Paul.  I would call myself a Libertarian but the party itself is chock-full of whackjobs, and that’s just a challenge I don’t need, so I go with the little “l” designation instead.  Small government, nay, EENSY government!  As Mister Liberty Girl says, “I want the government to keep the streets in repair, pick up my garbage, and punish bad guys.  THAT’S IT.”  And I completely agree with him.  Let’s get government out of the business of subsidising the poor and nannying us all to death, shall we?  

That said, Palin is the most palatable option on the table for 2012, DESPITE her religious proclivities.  And honestly, who is the last politician to get something changed due to their god-y-ness?  John Ashcroft and the Large Bronze Boobies of DOOOOM??  Now you know they let him get away with that just to keep the old coot happy.  Like that song…that fuckin’ song…

Palin is not going to take office and immediately reverse Roe v. Wade, regardless of the wet dreams of the evangelical Right.  Politicians may have their pet causes and apparent raison d’êtres but when it comes down to it, most of them are just interested in staying ELECTED, which means pleasing the majority of the constituency.  That will also, of course, apply to Palin.  And that’s one reason – despite the vitriol on this site to the contrary – that The Messiah does not particularly keep me up at night.  

I speak harshly of the 52s, those forebrain-stunted thumb donors, but the natural optimist in me (HA!) believes most of them are not completely divorced from reality, they just got a little excited to be Part of History^TM in the election of a sort-of black man.   We conservatives will resist the garden-variety socialist tendencies and should anything epically stupid come down the pike, well, I hope the 52s will have absorbed some fucking common sense from us naysayers by that time.

UPDATE: A reader emails:

Dear Ms. Girl  (Or may I call you “Liberty?”)You mention “center-right without voting for Paul.”  That prompts a thought on how we describe the political universe.

Authors often use two axes, one for personal and the second for economic liberty.  So for example Singapore is high economic but perhaps lower personal freedom. (I attach an example without comment on the specific placements.)

Seems there  needs to be a third axis, something like “common sense / theoretical” to describe the overlay of differences among populist, formal economists, blue-collar Democrats etc…

See, an issue like free-trade may have sound theory, and work in practice, but it also seems counter-intuitive to workers and goes against folk-wisdom thinking.  Likewise we see rifts between the “gotta do something” bailouts and “left-em fail” libertarians.  THIS debate is not about economic or personal liberty, so much as it is about our sources of knowledge, and how much we’ll trust “reason” over “experience.”

You can call me “Libby.”  (Never was a man, though.)  

Maybe the third axis should be “what’s important to you,” which can amount to the same thing you suggest, I suppose.  Despite my exhortation to not be a One-Issue Voter, I freely admit that national security is WAY up there on my priority list, which might make me rather more hawkish than the average libertarian.

Personally, I’m not going to worry much about defining charts and graphs until the ID cards/tattoos are mandated.  Then I’m going to SHOOT something.

Nice to see Huckabee still lacks that brain-mouth filter.

Huckabee had some interesting observations about Sarah Palin, a potential 2012 opponent, suggesting that she didn’t earn her spurs and was more appealing to the base of the party because she hadn’t been scrutinized in the primary.   

No, ya big crybaby, she was appealing (still is) to a great many of us because she isn’t an old, crotchety white man.  And in your specific case, Huckadiddle, she isn’t a crazed evangelist-type.  

To me, one of the few things worse for this country than a Socialist regime is a Theocracy, and Huckaboo, you couldn’t go twelve seconds in the primaries without sounding like Jerry Falwell on a meth-fueled vision quest.  I’m sure you’ll pardon me if I’d rather have an ancient, creaking, pseudo-Democrat in office than a guy who thinks dinosaurs meandered about the Garden of Eden.

And as to this…

“She didn’t have to get bloodied like us. Few people on that stage didn’t get bloodied.”

He did allow, though, that she did get bloodied  –  “but not by the people Republicans care about, you guys.”

Er, yeah, she did, most efficiently and savagely by her own party.  So much so that these excellent t-shirts may go utterly to waste.  

Hmm, a Bull Moose Party.  Now there’s an idea…

*My father, well into the “trying to get into Heaven” phase of his life, actually said the above to me a few years ago.

Ah, just what I was missing in this election cycle…the measured, considered opinion of a hedonistic, old fart.

Such gravitas!  Such wisdom!  Such unintelligible mumbling!

Next.

Via Hot Air, of course.

Update:  Mister Liberty Girl, who wisely does not turn the sound up on his computer, asked, “so, what’d he say?”  To which I replied, “The party line, dear.  ’Unqualified,’ ‘a heartbeat away from the presidency,’ ‘great ass.’  You know, the usual.”

Speaking of asses, does this article make anyone else vaguely nauseous?  Or even outright technicolor yawn-y?

Via Treacher, send a letter to the McCain camp exhorting them to step the fuck up and defend Palin from these bullshit attacks.

Here’s mine:

We voted for you, we’re sorry you did not win out over the socialist. Now stand up and speak out for Sarah Palin. Sure, she’s a big girl and can handle whatever is thrown at her – otherwise she wouldn’t be in that revolting business – but you and every other Republican needs to SUPPORT her, as she supported you. Apologize for the crappy way she was handled, and band together to stop this “throwing her under the bus” nonsense. She didn’t sink your campaign, she made it 100% more exciting than it was before she was announced, and is the sole reason we voted AT ALL in this election. Do the honorable thing.

Crib it if you like or compose your own.

Oh ho…”Real” Women Respond to Sarah Palin, do they (scare quotes mine)?

It all started with a letter written by two women (Lyra and Quinn) that they emailed to 40 of their friends.“We are writing to you,” wrote Lyra and Quinn, “because of the fury and dread we have felt since the announcement of Sarah Palin as the Vice-Presidential candidate for the Republican Party.. She does not represent us.”

Within one week 100,000 women responded with their own impassioned stories and statements about why Sarah Palin should not be Vice President.

“Fury and dread…”  One word:  

WAH

Dear gods the whinging.  It positively boggles the mind the hatred this woman engenders in the average liberal woman.

Listen up, sweeties…just because SHE has a vagina, and YOU have a vagina, does not automatically mean SISTERSSSS (eeee!!!), with slumber parties, pillow fights, and doing each others’ hair.  I swear to xst, it’s like you’ve all turned into guys and it’s the women’s lib movement all over again.  OMGWTFFRILLYAPRON she’s broken out of the niche into which we expect her to stay, she’s an embarrassment to all women everywhere, aieeee!!!!1!

Get a GRIP on yourselves, ladies.  She’s not the first CONSERVATIVE to be pro-life (imagine that), you just think she’s betraying everyone with tits because she IS.  HELLLEAUX!!  That whole anti-abortion thing is kind of one of the cornerstones of the Republican party, you might even call it a major goddamned 2×4 in the platform of their idealogy.  So what’s with all the freaking out when a Republican candidate is indeed anti-abortion?

Just because she has girl-parts she should automatically think as you do re: baby removal?  Bah.  *I* have girl-parts, and I think whatever an INDIVIDUAL wants to do with their body is pretty fuckin’ much up to them.  

Like Michele said this morning, you chose your candidate for whatever reason is important to you.  (Hopefully there’s more than just the ONE reason.)  It’d just be nice to see a little rationality from these feeling-oh-so-betrayed femmes on the subject of Sarah Palin.

Well, this latest evil perpetrated by The Demon Sarah Palin is truly epic in its maleficience…

Financial records show that the Republican National Committee appears to have spent more than 150,000 dollars on clothes for vice presidential pick Sarah Palin, Politico reported.

The Republicans’ main campaign and fundraising organ spent tens of thousands at high-end stores, such as Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York (49,425 dollars) and Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis (75,062 dollars), the Politico website said.

The RNC also spent 4,716 dollars on hair and makeup through September, Politico said.

You must be kidding me.  The RNC spent actual money on a candidate and her family in order to make them look good for television appearances?  Of all the nerve.

I bet they don’t ask Joey B. how much his suits cost.  Or The Messiah, nossir, we don’t think for a moment that he’s using campaign money to buy some new threads.

This is easily the dumbest whinge about Palin I’ve heard in the last, oh, five minutes or so.  And, as much as I hate to drag this out, it’s fucking sexist.  As above, no one is asking McCain and the others how much they’re spending on suits and, yes, makeup and hair.  Just the chick gets that inquiry.  

It’s not a double-standard, it’s a Möbius strip standard.  These people no longer know which way is up, and surely don’t care as long as it allows them to take yet another cheap shot at Palin.

*One of the few things from the Leftards that’s actually funny.