You’re being had, people.

Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt and “Girls Gone Wild” chief Joe Francis announced Wednesday that they have sent a joint request to Congress asking for a $5 billion federal bailout to help the adult entertainment industry weather difficult financial times. 

The duo contends that while the industry is still viable, the sagging economy has had an impact.

“People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt said. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.” 

According to Flynt and Francis, adult DVD sales and rentals have decreased by 22 percent in the past year, and viewers are increasingly turning to the Internet for adult entertainment. 

Francis said the money for the $13 billion industry would be “just to see us through hard times.”

If you’re not, if this is actually not a massive poke in the eye from Flynt – who is smart enough for it, make no mistake…that fucker Francis is just along for the ride – then I sincerely hope it causes an apoplexy in a key number of senior Senators and Representatives grave enough to effect their immediate retirement.  

And WTF is MY bailout??   The well’s going to run dry eventually, you pricks.

A little light reading this morning, in this much-linked Townhall.com article by Michael Medved.  I agree with much of what he says, ie. if The Messiah gets elected, along with a filibuster-proof Congress, then we’re going to see some seriously ugly governmental waste, in the form of everything from idiotic subsidies to outright handouts.   And yes, he will fling wide the doors of our country to any wetback who comes knocking…gotta keep up the voting base, don’tcha know.  But the bit that vexes me to no end…and why I am fundamentally NOT a conservative…is this:

Aside from the ongoing growth of government and the waste of public money, other changes brought about by President Obama will prove to be unalterable and devastating: in his first year, he will authorize gays serving openly in the military, and hasten the national imposition of homosexual marriage (he’s pledged to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act).

Allow me to quote Chris Tucker as Ruby Rhod in The Fifth Element:

BUT WHO CARES??

Conservatives…PLEASE…let go of your left-over-Puritanical concerns for what goes on in people’s bedrooms.  Last I checked, sexual preference had little or nothing to do with actual fighting ability.  Nor are Teh Gheys actively recruiting for their Rainbow Army.  Nor is Limp Wrist actually contagious.  If a homosexual man/woman wants to serve in the military, logic dictates it is not because they’re looking for an easy lay.  That can less expensively be had at any bar in any city in any state.   No, they are there for the same reason as any other person…learn a job, get a big fat college bonus check, and/or blow the shit out of third-worlders. 

And “national imposition” of gay marriage?  What the flaming fuck is he actually implying there?  That I will be required to divorce my husband and go find some chick to marry?  This sort of rhetoric is completely moronic, and every bit as dishonest as any gyrations the Left goes through.  The intent seems to be to stir up fear and loathing in the gawd-fearing populace (the better to get them to vote [R], you see), and it just pisses me off.   

The cynical side of me can see how appealing to emotion is less complicated than appealing to intellect…particularly when so much of the populace appears deficient in the latter…but to those of us capable of reason it’s just insulting.  Learn to mind your own damned business, ya prurient bastards, and stop spooking the cattle.

Via (again) Hot Air