Posts Tagged ‘thank you sir may I have another’
By Liberty Girl · March 4th, 2010
LG: Reports: US warships and air assets being dispatched to Maersk Alabama. Captain held hostage in a lifeboat nearby.
MLG: Yup
LG: christ on a donkey
cant he kill them with his dick or something?
MLG: The bainbridge, right?
LG: or is HE not an American?
MLG: He’s dutch I think
LG: well, that explains it
MLG: Isn’t that veirrrrd?
LG: haha
blogging this
UPDATE: The Captain *is* American, so yes, he can kill the pirates with his dick.
I have to ask those of my 152 loyal readers who might be somewhat older than my own 39 years…have you ever seen any-fucking-thing like this?
White House and GM sources had told CNN Sunday that Wagoner would resign as part of the federal government’s bailout strategy for the troubled automaker.
“On Friday I was in Washington for a meeting with Administration officials. In the course of that meeting, they requested that I ’step aside’ as CEO of GM, and so I have,” Wagoner said in a statement posted to the GM Web site.
I mean, of course, in a NON-communist country?
Not that I live in Texas, but you won’t have to worry about me if this sort of bullshit becomes commonplace:
A disorderly conduct charge brought by an assistant fire marshal against a woman who dropped the F-bomb at Wal-Mart has been dropped, the city’s interim manager said Wednesday.
When reached by phone, Kathryn Fridge, 29, of Texas City, said she was elated to hear the news and felt vindicated.
Alfred A. Decker IV, La Marque assistant fire marshal, cited Fridge on Aug. 4 when he overheard her utter the granddaddy of all expletives. Fridge, who was shopping for batteries with her mother and 2-year-old daughter ahead of Tropical Storm Edouard’s landfall, said “They don’t have any f—— more.”
Decker took Fridge to his car, handcuffed her and wrote her a citation. City Prosecutor Jay Brown dropped the charge March 19, said interim City Manager Eric Gage.
No “disorderly conduct” charge for me, nossir. One “cockpunch with extreme prejudice” will do me just fine in that situation.
Nicked from Laura, and presented – as they say – in lieu of actual content:
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Sort of. In my wild 20s, was speeding rather hard through North Carolina, apparently pulled sufficient attitude with the cop that he escorted me to the station and held me without charges until my parents paid the extortion fee to release me. This included a cursory sort of pat down. Still fucking hate North Carolina.
2. Do you close your eyes on a roller coaster?
Back when I rode them, no.
3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledging?
I’m a SOUTHERNER.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I have become thoroughly accustomed to sleeping next to Mister Liberty Girl (we have this separate bedclothes system that I believe is the secret to a happy marriage), but the answer any other time would be alone.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Puhleeze.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
As do many others, yes.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Without question.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Dammit. It ordinarily would be the dangerous one, but I can’t really forgive the poaching thing, so neither.
9. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics?
Absofuckinglutely. And not one person currently involved in in same should actually be there.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Indeed, and not that Texas Hold Em bullshit either. Five card, seven card, and dragon poker. I do wish we had nearby friends so we could have an actual poker night.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Not even when I was young enough to physically do it. I am a devoted sleeper.
12. What’s your favorite commercial?
These Career Builder ads remain a favorite, remind me (honestly) of my days working for a government contractor in the Aerospace industry:
13. Who was your first love?
Um. Some boy in grade school no doubt. You can see it left an impression.
14. If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No. Much to my disgust I’m a fundamentally honest person.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Probably, but it’s of miniscule importance considering I can’t even recall it at the moment.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
After years of devotion to the Oakland A’s (grew up watching a farm team), baseball died for me during the second to last strike. Spoiled babies.
17. Have you ever been ice skating?
I’m a SOUTHERNER.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
All the time. Major story-writing fodder there.
19. What’s the one thing on your mind?
Liberty Son’s stubbornness regarding his schoolwork.
20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes. I never used to but then I acquired people who loved me and didn’t want me dead. Glad of the habit as of a couple of years ago when we were t-boned by a minivan-driving bitch and rolled over three times.
21. What talent do you wish you had?
Javelin throwing? No, I have no idea. I can paint, draw, sing, shoot, cook, grow things, sew, etc. etc. I suppose those are all skills though…therefore I’d like the talent to become invisible. Oh yes, the places I’d go.
22. Do you like sushi?
Oh HELLS yes.
23. What do you wear to bed?
Mister Liberty Girl.
24. Do you truly hate anyone?
I’m a SCORPIO for fuck’s sake. I hold grudges until they die, then I have them stuffed and mounted.
25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Well, since I consider most of them too freaking stupid to chew gum… Based purely on hormonal reaction, I’d have to say Daniel Craig. (Um, MLG, can you pick up the new Bond movie today on your way home, kthx.) Square-jawed Saxon types (like MLG) just Do It For Me.
26. Do you know anyone in jail?
Currently, no.
27. What food do you find disgusting?
Offal. Unless you honestly have nothing else there’s really no freakin’ point.
28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Of course, but not in a MEAN way.
29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Let’s see…6th grade or so. He hit me and I fuckin’ well hit him back.
30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
*sigh* No. And that’s all I’m sayin’ about that.
No tagging, play along as you like.
You know what this tells me? That we can control this sonofabitch.
Told you I’d eventually lose interest… But this bitch needs her kick in the ass.
A professor in Connecticut reported one of her students to the police after he gave a class presentation on why students and teachers should be allowed to carry concealed weapons on campus. Now, free speech activists say the professor’s actions are what really need to be investigated.
Last October, John Wahlberg and two classmates at Central Connecticut State University gave an oral presentation for a communications class taught by Professor Paula Anderson. The assignment was to discuss a “relevant issue in the media,” and the students presented their view that the death toll in the April 2007 Virginia Tech shooting massacre would have been lower if professors and students had been carrying guns.
That night, police called Wahlberg, a 23-year-old senior, and asked him to come to the station. When he arrived, they they read off a list of firearms that were registered in his name and asked where he kept them. Guns are strictly prohibited on the CCSU campus and residence halls, but Wahlberg says he lives 20 miles off-campus and keeps his gun collection locked up in a safe. No further action was taken by police or administrators.
Makes you just want to catch her in a dark hallway and yell BOO, doesn’t it. Stupid cow.
Yanno, from Day 1 of The Messiah’s entré into the campaign, I’ve called his jugeared ass a “socialist.”* Turns out I was being too kind.
I once wrote that we could play “Communist Manifesto Bingo”: once President Obama enacts or strengthens five planks from the Communist Manifesto, yell “bingo” and you win. One month into President Obama’s first term, BINGO!
Read, as they say, the entire thing. And then try to sleep tonight.
(*For the record, MLG has *always* answered that with “communist.”)
Hey, remember this dork? Yeah, he finally figured out how to get here through those confusing Intertubes and is now displaying his still-prodigious, er, intellect in my comment section.
Enjoy.
I so don’t have time for this today…
Tam posted on this guy’s whinge that smoking should be Federally BannedTM. The guy replied in her comments with the typical liberal “I am a Victim, Hear Me Roar” bullshit. This is my favorite:
There are thousands of federal laws that protect the public from daily hazards of living.
Let’s just grok that for a moment, shall we?
Number one, he says that like it’s a good thing, instead of utterly fall-down laughable.
Number two, “protect the public from the daily hazards of living”?? That’s just an eye-wateringly stupid statement right there. Are there T-Rexes on the loose? No? Sabretoothed tigers invading your swimming pools? No? Not even small irritated weasels gnawing at your doorjambs?
Unfortunately, we have reached a point where most people just cannot conceive of living without the Government’s help and supervision. Self-reliance to them means carrying the trash to the curb, so Government services can whisk it away to La-La Land. What happens before and after that is not really their concern, and they like it that way.
I just have one question, and it may as well just be rhetorical for all the intelligent response it will generate:
Do you enjoy being a victim?
Oh, I’m sure you don’t feel like you’re a victim. You probably feel nice and swaddled, like a cherished baby, secure in the protection of Grampa Government’s embrace. You’re happy having the Hard Decisions made for you, by people whose main qualifications seem to be their ability to spend other people’s money in the most wasteful fashion possible.
Well, the rest of us feel like actual Adults, son, and we’re getting pretty fucking sick and tired of Grampa Government’s attempts to stick us in Depends.
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